Its been too Long

This next lil bit is something a lil more private than I would usually post, but Since it means so much to me I wanted to share it.

It’s been too long. I walked inside your mom’s second story apartment and saw your brown eyes shift from the mirror to me. At first I don’t think you believed what lay before you, but the second your mind caught up with reality your feet began to move and the distance between us closed. The 6 feet that separated us at that moment was the shortest distance since I can remember. Time slowed to a screeching halt, each step seemed to span a month that I had been away, and every one of those is too long. You leaped into my arms and held me so tight that I thought I was inside you. Not in the sexual way, but in the ideal that our two souls were merged for a moment that will be etched into eternity. You broke the connection only to place the most spectacular kiss on my lips that I have ever felt. I couldn’t breathe, and I’ve never had a kiss to take my breath away. I was lost in the moment, even with your sister watching us; I couldn’t break the closeness I had been feigning for so long. It was like a kiss from an angel breathing life into the depths of me. It was like warmth of a sun that was hidden for a blizzard filled winter. I have kissed you a thousand times and not once was it like this. It was something I will never forget, and am forever grateful to experience with you.

How Long Will They Mourn Me???

How Long Will They Mourn Me???


You don’t really know what ya got till it’s gone,
With that being said,
How long will they mourn me???
They say I love you, and I got you J,
But would they stand starin thru the haze at my coffin
Would they approach her with a glaze in their eyes
And explain to my momma how I made my exit…?
Because I made too many promises
And told too many It’s not goodbye, but see ya later
If I broke them all how long would they mourn me?

Plans change, and people go their different ways,
But would they celebrate the good times,
And remember what went wrong when they went sour?
Would they remember sittin at the house hour after hour
Talking bout how we can’t wait for our lives to flower
Life to blossom and to see which road we travel
But how long would ya mourn me
If I wasn’t strollin down that unpaved gravel?

Would they see me as an unpleasant speed bump?
Or a sight that could take your breath away?
All I know is that I live my life each and everyday
Like its my last because I will never know…
How long they mourn me…

About Me

"I Am a man who can see the light at the end of the tunnel and know that the trip with the constant twists turns and unforseen potholes was a journey that was worth it. I am a man who lives as honestly, and honorably as possible even when women take that kindness for weakness. I am a man who gives a second chance, even tho she might not deserve it. I am a man who writes ryhmes, just not to a beat besides the one pounding in your chest when i look into your eyes and say whats on my mind. I am a man who is perfectly willing and capable of going at it alone, but i am mature enough to know that the ride is much more fun if at the end of the night if can look over and know u shared it with someone special. I am a sailor, but the sterotypes surrounding my profession do not bind me in place, i break barriers set up by people who dont understand the life i lead. But i am a man who realizes that what she can't see, she won't hold onto."
-J.Martz

My life

If you want to know more about me go to www.myspace.com/jmartz9. otherwise get to reading what ive really come here to say...

Im stationed here in SD and ive come to the realization that im having to prove myself even more because im 18yrs old. People look at me as if im the ships little brother or something retarted like that. When i drop my opinion on something important i find that my audience is unreceptive to my message. They view me as the immature kid who shouldnt be listened to because he hasnt been around long enough to go thru anything meaningful. Well excuse me for disagreeing. what im about to say is a little bottled up, so forgive.
I may be 18 but ive i been through a hell of a lot and i know what its like to be in pain.
I kno what its like to go to a school that hates u automatically for being white
I kno what its like to be hated for being who you truely are
I kno what its like to feel responsible for the dissolving of a marriage, and then witnessing it
I kno what its like to watch the strongest man in my life slowly become weaker
I kno what its like to drive him to kemotherapy because she was to busy
I kno what its like to help her pack, and move away only so she doesnt call
I kno what its like to hold a family together, because im the only one who can nut up
I kno what its like to hate the person who brought u into this world, and then forgive her
I kno what its like to watch ur grandparents argue cuz they are helpless
I kno what its like to feel pure victoy
I kno what its like to love a woman more than you love yourself, but she doesnt feel the same
I kno what its like to leave everything familiar
I kno what its like to be cheated on, and cheat on girlfriends
I kno what its like to be lonely, jealous, powerful, angry, frustrated and pissed the fuck off
And i kno that it is these experiences and so many more that have made me the man i am today. Take it or leave it this is who i am, and im not going anywhere anytime soon.
One love.
J.Martz